0540 am 28th December
I feel like an HIV positive doctor; treating AIDS patients !
My head is a mess, chaos reigns. I found what is different this time, I have taken a rather strong dose of the maturity pill. Imagine the crude me back then who wouldnt think twice before retreating in his cosy shell. But now, the ‘me’ inside me implores me to stop inferring imaginery results from half baked conjectures. It refuses to act in haste lest he loses the one thing he didnt want to like last time. But then again i am afraid this penchant for reasoning out things is blindsiding me; that i am refusing to see what is right in front of me.
O ! I wish i was Mel Gibson, only with a control on all chromosomes :S
Since when did i think i start overthinking things & since when did i become this indecisive biatch. I am surprised it has taken so long for me to shut myself down ( i aint doing it still ) ! It atleast has subdued the guilt (and the surprise) over the X episode back then.
I am still wondering. Helping hand needed !!!!! For now I will go with my older self. Perhaps I can reach a reasonable compromise !