Et tu God

Me: Sir, I am unhappy.

God: Don’t call me Sir, ever ! and why are you unhappy ?

me: I don’t know, I just am.

God: Dude, haven’t you heard, I help only those who help themselves and you are definitely not helping anyone.

me: Exactly, I don’t want you to help me, at least directly. I want you to guide me on how to help myself.

God: See this is exactly why I never talk to MBAs

me: Sir..

God: Go on, think what exactly makes you unhappy. Is it because the weather is too hot or perhaps that you haven’t gotten laid in a long while. I want specifics !

me: No no no … it’s nothing materialistic. It’s something much more spiritual.

God:  Awww, you are one of ‘those’ .

me: I am serious. The problem is everything around me. It seems like I am leading a supremely unfulfilled life. Every morning when I wake up, there is nothing that I look forward to. Nothing makes me want to just jump out of the bed and get going. All I want to do is laze around and lay to waste my life. I am so unhappy ! Cant you see it , I am suffering ! Some mornings I just feel like dying and…

God: Shut up ! You need a shrink you stupid dumb psycho! Don’t ever waste my time again.

me: Meh !

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Posted on July 13, 2010, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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