Et tu God
Me: Sir, I am unhappy.
God: Don’t call me Sir, ever ! and why are you unhappy ?
me: I don’t know, I just am.
God: Dude, haven’t you heard, I help only those who help themselves and you are definitely not helping anyone.
me: Exactly, I don’t want you to help me, at least directly. I want you to guide me on how to help myself.
God: See this is exactly why I never talk to MBAs
God: Go on, think what exactly makes you unhappy. Is it because the weather is too hot or perhaps that you haven’t gotten laid in a long while. I want specifics !
me: No no no … it’s nothing materialistic. It’s something much more spiritual.
God: Awww, you are one of ‘those’ .
me: I am serious. The problem is everything around me. It seems like I am leading a supremely unfulfilled life. Every morning when I wake up, there is nothing that I look forward to. Nothing makes me want to just jump out of the bed and get going. All I want to do is laze around and lay to waste my life. I am so unhappy ! Cant you see it , I am suffering ! Some mornings I just feel like dying and…
God: Shut up ! You need a shrink you stupid dumb psycho! Don’t ever waste my time again.
me: Meh !